Powerless, that was how I felt when I saw her lying on the ground in her apartment and she sent the ambulance people away. I felt powerless when they told me that she was yet going to stay alone. In my opinion that was by long no option anymore.

I felt powerless when I came back home, because apart from praying for her and visiting her there is nothing I can do. But also frustrated by the rules of the culture in this area and in care giving. When the other day I hear that she is still being taken into the hospital, I can do nothing but pray, once again this powerless feeling.


My sister in law sends me something from her daily devotional the other day. It’s among others about playing volleyball and shouting ‘mine!’ when the ball comes at you. Sometimes all of the team shout this at the same time, but then all jump back to give space to the other. The result is the the ball eventually hits the floor. When I hear that my 81-year old friend is in the hospital and very confused, I realize that I shouted ‘mine!’, but then jumped back. I can pray for her and then leave it to God what is good for her in this situation.


When I visit her next day in the hospital, her eyes lighten up when I tell her that in the Netherlands people are praying for her too. I can also pray with her and encourage her with the Word of God. Then I leave her safe in the hands of God, together with my powerlessness.